Syrian President Bashar Al-Assad reputedly having his eyes cleaned by miniature cloned human slave.
Louai Beshara/Agence France-Presse — Getty Images
President and Syrian strongman Bashar Al-Assad has reportedly had miniature humans cloned in a secret lab and is employing them as personal slaves to tend to his hygiene. Pictured above is one of the slaves performing the delicate task of removing a stray eyelash from Mr. Assad's eye.
Said an unnamed spokesman for Mr. Assad, "Look, the president is an ophthalmologist and so of course he is naturally concerned about the health of his vision."
Questioned about about the possibility of human rights abuses and the medical ethics of cloned subminiature human slaves, the spokesperson beckoned to several masked and heavily-armed guards who promptly rounded up and shot the reporter in front of a crowd of protesters and other stunned onlookers. After the shooting, the spokesperson asked, "Does anyone else have questions."
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